"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We have so much sex to catch up on
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
