So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
