dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
