i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They took my balls.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
