I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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