well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
