i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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