Is it normal to miss your booty call?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
