it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
