Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Houston, we have a squirter
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
