This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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