I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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