4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
