So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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