does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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