i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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