i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
