this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
A bitchslap is in order.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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