she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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