so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
