We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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