I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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