in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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