can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I faked an abortion last night.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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