first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
