thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
