i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
