New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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