How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
