marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
