I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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