I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
