omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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