I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
