508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
