i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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