BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
