bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
