I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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