I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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