is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
