i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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