So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
