Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
