you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My cat gives me a boner
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
