cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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