For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
