Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
