I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need water and some morals
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
