he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
