Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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