Umm I'm too high to move.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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